Family Dynamics Of Addiction
By: Anyachukwu Adaeze Oluwabukola
Addiction according to the American Society of Addiction Medicine is the "inability to consistently abstain, impairment in behavioral control, craving, diminished recognition of significant problems with one's behaviors and interpersonal relationships, and a dysfunctional emotional response." The disorder caused by substance addiction does not only affect the individual who is the direct victim of the disorder. Addiction impacts everyone who has a relationship with the person suffering from the addiction and this disrupts daily life and negatively impacts the stability of a family. Substance use addiction is a very chaotic experience due to the signs and symptoms that comes with the disorder, family members begin to adopt one role or the other consciously or unconsciously to protect the victim with the disorder and to support each other in the whole coping experience. This is geared towards stability and overcoming the challenge posed by the disorder. This adopted behavior most times do not help the victim, nor does it help the family members as they can be very dysfunctional coping strategies that only help with covering the addiction challenge rather than solving it.
There are six common roles family members in such situations tend to adopt which are:
The Person With Substance Use Disorder (PSUD)
The Person with substance use disorder is the main focus of the family. Family members spend more time and energy helping, enabling, or covering up for him or her. The PSUD may feel guilty, ashamed and remorse regarding the distress and pain they are causing their families while some Individuals with substance addiction become angry and disrespectful towards their family and blame the family or be in denial of the problem.
The Enabler
The enabler often covers the PSUD's problems and responsibilities to keep the rest of the family happy. He or she not only supports the dysfunctional behavior but shields the PSUD from the consequences of his or her actions being the closest emotionally to the victim. He or she also serves as the protector of the family. They appear self-righteous, super responsible, sarcastic, passive, physically sick, or like a martyr but inside, they have anger, hurt, guilt, and low self-esteem. They might be ashamed of the PSUD's behavior and lets them know it by his or her actions or words.
The Hero
Similar to the enabler or caretaker, the hero devotes his or her time and attention to covering up for the PSUD's mistakes to maintain the appearance that the family is "normal." The hero will do whatever he or she can to restore the dysfunctional home life behind closed doors. This individual is typically portrayed as over-responsible, self-sufficient, or even a perfectionist.
However, by being the "golden child/parent," the hero may struggle with living up to the status and experience the pain of seeing the PSUD's suffering up close. As the problems get worse s/he takes on responsibilities that were once his. If s/he gets into trouble with the law, s/he will move heaven and earth to come up with his bail. The hero tends to have feelings of guilt, hurt, and inadequacy.
The Mascot
Known as the comedian of the group, the mascot often tries to lessen the stress caused by the PSUD with humor or silliness. He or she feels powerless with what's happening and aims to prevent any family unpleasantness with antics or comedy. Negatively, the mascot is often in constant motion and becomes anxious or depressed when he or she slows down or stops. The mascot knows their humor can bring a sense of comfort and relief to the family and hence, they continuously maintain this specific role to accomplish that sense of comfort and balance.
The Lost Child
The lost child is the quiet individual who flies under the radar while other family members play their own adopted roles in dealing with the PSUD. The lost child stays out of the way and eventually avoids all interactions and essentially disappears. The lost child is alone and becomes isolated from other family members. Hence, there is a big chance they'll develop troubled relationships when they're older. This person feels awkward in social gatherings and tries to escape from family engagement. They prefer hiding from both the emotional and physical attachments of the family.
The Scapegoat
The scapegoat is the problem child — the opposite of the hero. Through acts of defiance or hostility toward other family members, the scapegoat provokes negative attention that ultimately distracts from the PSUD's behavior, thus diverting the family's attention from where it should be. This is the member of the family who has a habit of misbehaving and showing unnatural and annoying tendencies in front of everybody. Sometimes these younger people get themselves in trouble at home and school. When they move towards adulthood, they'll have the biggest possibility of facing issues with the law, also. The behavior of this member is noisy and poisonous to the household. The scapegoat internally deals with rejection, jealousy, hurt, and anger.
Conclusively, rehabilitation and therapy are the first step to recovery for the person with substance use addiction and the entire family. Once a PSUD is in treatment, family members will have a lot of work to do to repair relationships, re-establish personal and family security, and rebuild trust.
Adapted from:
Chris Clancy
Journeypureriver.com/family-dynamicsaddiction
alvernia.edu/infographics/coping-withaddiction-6-dysfunctional-family-roles/ tranquilshores.org/familyinformation/family-roles-in-addiction/